


I Like You, You Like Me...

by solemnwar



Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: A little bit of angst, Comfort, F/M, No Sex, Panic Attacks, and some ust, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:46:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solemnwar/pseuds/solemnwar
Summary: Lord Yracundia, former slave and current Sith Lord, has a bad habit of bottling things up. Andronikos unintentionally forces her to confront things she'd rather he not know about.





	

            Sex was not something Yracundia really thought, or cared, about all that much.

            Oh, it was true that she’d partaken in the activity from time to time. As a slave her body was her only weapon, and her only bargaining tool. After her sudden liberation and ascension into the ranks of the Sith, she’d experimented a bit more, to see if things were any different. She’d even slept with another Sith, that one man on Alderaan whose name she’d already forgotten, for the novelty of it.

            Throughout it all, she’d maintained the belief that it was not at all what it was cracked up to be and more of a burden to be suffered. It was not like the men she’d been with hadn’t _tried_ to make it enjoyable. Some of them, anyways. In _theory_ it seemed like a good idea, but in practice... well, she’d learned a few tricks to hasten the men to their completion so it would be over faster.

            She’d been unsure about what would happen if Andronikos approached the subject. She liked him very much, more so than any man she’d associated with before, and if he remained in her life, that would suit her just fine. But men had needs, and she was worldly enough to know that no matter how much affection he might have for her, without the physical element he _wouldn’t_ stick around. Some might think that unfair. She thought it reasonable, personally. Why stay with someone who couldn’t give you what you wanted?

            It wasn’t like she was completely against the idea, of course. She’d entertained a few fantasies when given time to let her mind wander. They were tastelessly saccharine and romantic fantasies, too, to make it even worse; when had the pirate ever shown himself to be a romantic? Even when she tempered her expectations to be more realistic it still made her shiver, and she’d thought that perhaps it would not be so terrible, to share her bed with him.

            And she liked it when he touched her, sliding his hands up her arms to circle around her back and pull her close to him, warm and solid and _real_ , something she needed with all the personalities floating in her head-space. He would speak to her in his low voice, quiet things only meant for her, and she savoured every sound. He was brusque and rough and crass, but he made her feel like she was special.

             To be perfectly honest, she’d never felt so conflicted about something in her entire life. If she were being _completely_ honest with herself, she would have to admit that she was scared. Of what, she wasn’t entirely certain. Of being disappointed, perhaps, once again; or she was scared of Andronikos losing interest once he’d taken her to bed. It had happened before, and he had made no promises to stay, and she hadn’t asked it of him, either. Trust did not come easy to Sith, especially not ones who were former slaves.

            It was _incredibly annoying_ , and she was tired of it. She’d resolved herself to accepting if he asked, and she’d work out the fallout then.

            Andronikos, however, was proving to be the main hindrance to this plan. At some point between picking him up on Tatooine and the present he’d learned to read her quite well, and had picked up on the subtleties of her body language to notice she was feeling unsure about the whole proceeding.

            “Hey, you alright there, Sith?” He murmured into her hair, stilling his hands from their exploration. And what a time to ask that question, when they were _already in her bed_ and laying down on it.

            “Of course,” she’d assured him, drawing small circles on his arms with her fingers. She wasn’t entirely sure when it had happened, but he’d removed his shirt, and she was finding she liked the feeling of his skin under her hands, and how her red hue contrasted with his dark one. If she mostly focused on that, that tiny little panicked feeling in the back of her consciousness dimmed enough to mostly ignore it. But if he was going to start asking questions, _well_. “Whatever would give you the impression otherwise?”

            “Well, maybe that you don’t seem all that into this.” Blunt, as always. “I mean, you’re always weirdly composed, but this feels a lot more like _hesitation_ to me. If you’re having second thoughts I ain’t gonna get mad. Maybe a little irritated and gonna have to spend some time in the shower —” _how vulgar_ “ — but it wouldn’t be the first time I got kicked out of a woman’s bed.”

            “Andronikos, I don’t do anything I don’t want to,” she’d smoothly lied, sliding her hands up to cup his face, kissing him. She definitely liked to kiss him. “You do not have to worry on my account.”

            He grumbled something that she didn’t quite hear. “What was that?” she breathed against his lips, golden eyes trying to search his brown ones.

            “I said, _someone_ has to worry aboutcha,” he replied, sliding his hands up and into her hair, pulling her head back so he could kiss the hollow of her neck, sending shivers through her. If he could just _shut up_ and keep doing that... “You’re all fallin’ to pieces lately.”

            “I can take care of myself,” she said mulishly. “I’ve been doing it since I was a child, and I do _not_ need to be told otherwise!” She punctuated her outburst with a slight shove at his chest, accompanied with a scowl. She hadn’t meant to lose her temper, but she just didn’t know how to deal with _people actually caring about her_. Not since her mother died; not since her twin managed to escape, leaving her behind...

            She bit her lip. “Whatever,” she sighed, turning over to her side. “Forget it.”

            He pushed her back onto her back, clearly not done with the conversation. “Hey, what’s gotten you all _weird_ lately? Well, weirder than normal...”

_I need to stop letting the crew fraternise with Zepherine’s people, Vette is clearly rubbing off on him._ “Nothing. I’m fine,” she said stubbornly.

            “No, you’re not,” he said firmly. “You’ve been acting all strange ever since we started gettin’ friendlier, and I wanna know _why_.”

            Truth didn’t come easy to Yra, and it certainly didn’t come easier when she was getting _chastised_. “Andronikos, how many times do I have to tell you — ”

            “Is this just some insane Sith plot of yours?” He said, stunning her into silence. “Sleep with the pirate, get him all under your thumb so he’ll do whatever you want? That it? Are you just _tolerating_ my presence here to get somethin’ out of me?”

            She stared at him for a solid, silent moment, too shocked for words. He stared back,  waiting for an answer, and if she’d been paying any sort of attention she’d have seen the concern in his eyes. “You...  _you..!_ ” Her mouth worked, and she could feel the lingering Sith _rage_ , Academy honed and ever-present, bubbling under her collarbone. “You... _dare..!”_

            Yra properly shoved him this time, nearly toppling him right off the low bed with the force of it. She sat up, the air humming with energy and tainted with the smell of ozone. “You... you... _intolerable man!_ ” She shouted, teeth bared.

            “Well, now we’re gettin’ somewhere,” he said dryly, hands up in a sort of surrender.

            “No! No we’re not getting _anywhere!”_ she snapped, slamming her fists down on the mattress. “All because _you_ are getting all concerned for no reason! You could have just... just _kept going_ and I would’ve figured things out from there, but then you had to go acting all _concerned_ and questioning me and making me _think about things!”_

            “Think about _what_ things?” He asked, frowning, but she wasn’t listening to him.

            “It was _easier_ when they didn’t care, when they wouldn’t stick around, because we could just do it and be done with it,” she continued, too worked up to realise what she was revealing. “It didn’t matter that I felt nothing, it was over with quick and I didn’t have to ever see them again so it wasn’t something to _worry_ about. I could put it aside. But I have to _live_ with you!”

            “No need to make it sound so _flattering_...”

            “And you _say_ you wanna stick around, and say all these nice things, and I don’t...” Her voice cracked slightly. “I don’t want to be disappointed, _again._ ” She paused, looking away. “Or disappoint _you_.”

            “I don’t think that’s possible,” he said. “A guy’d have to be _crazy_ to be disappointed with you. And I know I can be a little crazy, but not _that_ crazy.”

            “I don’t... I don’t _feel_ anything,” she bit out. “Emotions are all there but my... my body doesn’t...” It was a struggle, putting things she’d kept secret for years out in the open, even to Andronikos. “It’s not like I haven’t _tried_. It just... _doesn’t_.” She bit her lip, fighting against the ache in her chest. _Through passion I gain_ strength _... be strong, dammit._

            “Hey, really, it’s okay, we don’t hafta do nothin’,” said Andronikos, slowly moving to gently hug her to him. “I like you, you like me... that’s enough.”

            “For _now_ ,” she muttered.

            “Hey, I got really comfortable with my hand while in prison,” he assured her, eliciting a grandiose eyeroll from her. “I can’t promise I won’t be havin’ dirty thoughts about you though.”

            “I’m not... _opposed_ to the idea... of sleeping with you...” she mumbled. “I like it when you kiss me. And when you touch me. Just...”

            “Hey, one day at a time. Take all the time you need,” he said. “And maybe if a time comes when you’re up for it, we don’t gotta perform for an audience.” He tapped her head, referring to the ghosts she’d bound to her.

            “That’s _not_ how they _work!_ ” She complained, hitting him. “Don’t make this whole situation even more awkward than it already is!”

He laughed, kissing her firmly on the mouth, and she hit him again, but not terribly hard. “You feelin’ better, now that you got all that off your chest?”

            “I guess a little...”

            “See, talking about stuff is good for you; bottling it up is what Jedi do, isn’t it?” She glared at him. “There’s my Sith. Now, we can talk more in a bit, but first I have a date with the shower...”

            This time she _did_ shove him off the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> My little baby Yracundia, she's such a neurotic mess (as she is a Sith, this probably surprises no-one). It's okay bby, Andronikos thinks you're pretty great anyways.
> 
> I know you can get the "let's get to know each other" conversation like. 2.5 seconds after finishing Tattooine buuuut for story purposes I like to space things out a bit.
> 
> This has been sitting in my dropbox for like, half a year waiting to be finished so I finally did it all in the wee hours of the morning lol. Originally there was going to be some boning but as I was writing it I was like "Nah... she's not in the mood for that." Maybe at a later date.
> 
> Now if you excuse me I have to stare at swtor until I get my space pirate back ;-;


End file.
